Clevelanders were "transportationally challenged" this morning with power outages knocking out traffic signals and obliging drivers to test their four-way stop manners. Fog obscured the view everywhere, particularly in the I-271 corridor on the east side.
It's an art form to deliver the traffic reports in a creative way. People want to hear the latest update quickly so they can decide what roads and exits to avoid. Synonyms for "slow" are helpful. This morning it was "Riding a geriatric yak would be faster than..."
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