Anticipating Jetlag

Hosting morning drive puts you at odds with everyone else's schedule. Breakfast is well before 6 a.m., and lunch at 10 is too early for most establishments to serve a lunch menu. So you eat breakfast at 10 a.m., which is really your lunch, eating from the lunch menu later on is really your dinner, and so on. It takes about two years to adjust to the schedule you must maintain in order to host morning drive. In that period, you live in a constant state of jetlag. If you go out at night, and one should now and then, lay out your clothes before you go to bed, and make sure your car has plenty of gasoline, because it's quite possible that you will oversleep the next morning. In that case, you will be obliged to jump into, or throw onto yourself, the previously laid-out wardrobe, and you will leap into the car and set off for work without checking whether you have enough fuel to get there. And how many gas stations in downtown Cleveland are open before 6 a.m.? A few -- it pays to know which ones well in advance.

My Curfew

Hosting morning drive requires you to live 4 hours earlier than the listeners. For example, if you wake up at 6:30, the announcer wakes up at 2:30. If you go to bed at 11 p.m., the announcer goes to bed at 7. This means the announcer's dinner is at 2 in the afternoon, while yours is at 6. Going out at night is a rare treat, generally only on weekends, but even so, the body demands a nap on those occasions. I won't kid you -- to stay home when the rest of you are out at concerts and plays is a killer. But one must decide in favor of preparedness. I do make exceptions for important events. A recent example is getting to meet WCLV's "Idea Leaders" following a recent Thursday night Cleveland Orchestra concert. Another was attending a local theater tech rehearsal. Another is attending opening nights. All of them important, to the listening audience and to the organizations who value the presence of WCLV's on-air hosts.

Act III

Did the salesperson in question become more timely, with less chaotic copy? No. But the "rest of the story" is that before burning the script, I photocopied it. Later, I recorded the spot, and no one lost any revenue.

My Proudest Moment as a Broadacaster, Part II

After years of being handed ad copy to voice right as I was leaving work, one cold January day I'd had enough. The salesperson in question was famous for getting things to people late, and the copy was always full of errors. This copy was no different. From WCLV's back door, I picked up the coffee can, the one used for cigarette butts, and placed it on the front walkway from the parking lot to WCLV's entrance. A WRMR colleague's cigarette lighter was used to flame the copy, and I flung the burning paper into the butt can and let it incinerate. Suddenly, I heard a voice familiar to WCLV listeners: "Jackie... We have heat in here." It was WCLV's co-founder and then-president Robert Conrad, who, from one of the production studios, had seen the whole thing. "I'm protesting!" I said. His expression changed. "What are you protesting?" I didn't mention the salesperson's name, but I strongly suggested that salespeople provide better copy and get it to the "talent" in a more timely manner. Months later, I learned that when news of my bonfire traveled around the building, my reputation among my WRMR colleagues, all of them radio old-timers, went up about 3,000 per cent. They were impressed that somebody protested shoddy treatment by a salesperson. Years later, when a new sales rep was being indoctrinated, she was told: "You better make sure your copy is in good shape, or Jackie will burn it."

My Proudest Moment as a Broadcaster -- Part I

In radio, announcers -- known as "the talent" -- live in a circumscribed world of live air shifts, show prep, and studio work recording programs for future airing, plus voicing underwriting announcements or commercials, depending upon whether the station is public or commercial. Salespeople who are not distracted, who follow up, and who write copy that makes sense are exalted in my book, because that's a tall order. It's a rare salesperson who gives you copy that is grammatical, without misspellings and organized. Salespeople are infinitely flexible, except when it comes to thinking of how the spot will sound. They're usually frantic to get the copy written and produced and get it on the air to satisfy the client. The talent are the final link in the process, and the least thought of. Until I took decisive action, which I will explain in Part II. It's my proudest moment as a broadcaster, and all I did was apply a flame.

Rules for Early-Rising Workers

Here are rules for anyone who, like a morning drive announcer, has to be at work before 6 a.m.: 1. Make sure your headlights, turn signals and tail lights are in working order. There is no surer bust in the wee hours than a cop noticing your illumination shortcomings. 2. Add battery-operated clocks and radios to your wake-up regimen. If the power fails overnight, you'll still have one or more working alarms. 3. Keep snacks in the car in case the batteries in #2 have died and you're running late. At least you won't go hungry.

CIPC, July 31

You have to be quiet backstage during a piano competition. No jokes, no tap dancing in the hallways. Complete attention must be paid even backstage, as the audience does out front, as five pianists performed in the afternoon and four in the evening sessions on the first day of the Cleveland International Piano Competition. The broadcast booth at the Cleveland Museum of Art's Gartner Auditorium is sandwiched between the recording operation and the Greenroom, where pianists warm-up at the grand piano, change their clothes, and grab some snacks.

Backstage @ CIPC

Backstage at the Cleveland International Piano Competition, the Queen of the Morn will be listening to performances onstage along with you, plus blogging from the booth. WCLV's wall-to-wall coverage begins Wednesday, July 31st, at 1 EDT on 104/9, streaming at wclv.org.

Literally, Play by Play at the Cleveland International Piano Competition

WCLV brings you wall-to-wall coverage of the Cleveland International Piano Competition July 31 - August 11. You'll hear every note in your home, car, office, and on your radio, computer, transistor radio or other wireless device. The voices you hear on WCLV -- Robert Conrad, Bill O'Connell, John Simna, Mark Satola, Jim Mehrling and yours truly -- will call the play by play from the Cleveland Museum of Art's Gartner Auditorium. The finals will be held at Severance Hall with the Cleveland Orchestra. Who will your favorite pianist be?

Play-by-Play of the Cleveland International Piano Competition

WCLV will bring wall-to-wall coverage of the Cleveland International Piano Competition to your home, office, car, iPhone, transistor radio and other wireless devices July 31 - August 11 on 104.9. Solo rounds will take place at the Cleveland Museum of Art's Gartner Auditorium, with the finals at Severance Hall with the Cleveland Orchestra. The voices you hear on WCLV -- Robert Conrad, Bill O'Connell, Mark Satola, John Simna, Jim Mehrling and yours truly, will be your play-by-play announcers. Who will be your favorite contestant? Hear it all on 104.9 & wclv.org.

Lunch at the Palm Court

Imagine the Idea Center's Smith Studio, which faces Euclid Avenue, full of potted palm trees and music for WCLV's "Nosh at Noon" live concert Wednesday, June 26. Music by Ravel, Gershwin and Schumann will be on the program. Actually, there won't be any palm trees. But the music is legit. Will you come? Bring your lunch. I'll be there, talking WCLV listeners out of their carrot sticks and chips.

Live and Uncensored

WCLV broadcasts so many live concerts, it's difficult for we Radioquarians to keep track. Last Thursday, we featured guitarist Jason Vieaux in the KeyBank Studio here at the Idea Center at Playhouse Square. On April 25th, we offered a day of live music at the Music Settlement on the occasion of its centennial. This summer is the Cleveland International Piano Competition, which you will hear from beginning to end on 104.9 beginning in July. And also in July, from Oberlin, the annual Cooper International Competition, which alternates between piano and violin, is in its violin year. We will bring you live coverage of the semi-final round from Oberlin's Warner Concert Hall. The final rounds of both competitions will be at Severance Hall with the Cleveland Orchestra. Do tune in to hear these exceptional young performers on 104.9 & wclv.org. Check back for more live concerts coming up on WCLV.

De-Cluttering, then Re-Cluttering the Radioquarium

Radio studios, like pockets, briefcases and cars, attract papers, pens, paperclips and random notes that made sense once but now do not. Since 4 people use the control room in the course of a day, something lost can linger undisturbed. Announcers see something lying on the counter, figure it belongs to someone who will claim it, then a week later, it's still there, in the same position, untouched. After a week, I pitch it, unrepentant. The announcer taketh away, and the announcer giveth. In cleaning my desk, I recently discovered what remained of large, rolled-up sheets of peel-and-stick aquatic decor, sent to me by WCLV listeners in 2011 shortly after the station moved to the Idea Center in Cleveland's Playhouse Square district. Since our new control room was 50% glass, I called it the "Radioquarium." People in the hallway passed the control room, stopped, backed up, and did a double-take at the red, blue and green fish, seaweed, starfish, octopus, tiny goldfish and rocks on the glass, through which they saw the announcer at work. They shook their heads, laughed and went on their way. I reluctantly removed the decor when I got wind that some humorless colleagues were unenthusiastic about it. Yesterday, I discovered I hadn't put up ALL of it in the first place. So fish, dolphins, and starfish are back in business, in the depths of the Radioquarium. It pays to be a pack rat.

Perched on a Rock in the Radioquarium

Thanks to all of you who have pledged online at wclv.org or on the phone at 1-877-676-1049 to become charter members of WCLV. Your pledges are as important to us as WCLV's 24/7 music is to you. Keep listening and remember that the gifts at each dollar level are our way of thanking you for pledging and for keeping WCLV on in your home, car, office, or anywhere else you can't do without us. Your extraordinary devotion to this station is matchless. Before the week is out, the "Quack of Support" may make its debut.

Pledging at the Improv

Public stations' pledge drives are frequently like improv on the radio. The "talent" persuades listeners to become members, and none of it is scripted. We also review some of the thank-you gifts and challenges. In the case of WCLV, 50 years in the same classical format in Cleveland, many listeners call to tell us how devoted they are to the station. New listeners remark on the surprising blend of classical music and humor. Friday, February 8th, WCLV will begin its first fundraiser as the nation's newest public radio station. Will we hear from you at 1-877-696-1049? Online, feel free to browse the thank-you gifts when you click on the blue box that you'll see on wclv.org. You can also pledge securely there. From Oberlin to Strongsville to Willoughby, your financial support is essential to keep WCLV a unique radio station in the sea of frequencies.

It's Just Like Riding a Bicycle

Monday night at midnight, amid champagne, snacks, and thoughts of Dick Clark and Guy Lombardo, WCLV became the nation's newest public radio station. The most noticeable change is the absence of commercials as we have known them in WCLV's first 50 years. In public radio, they're called underwriting announcements. They're either 15 or 30 seconds. Like Jack Webb in "Dragnet," they're limited to "just the facts." The "First Program" is still on 104.9. So are the Pet News, the Movie Quiz, news, traffic, and the other items you hear on WCLV between 6 and 10 a.m. Our first pledge drive will be in February. Before I came to WCLV in 2001, my checkered radio career included stints at three public radio stations. How to host a pledge drive will come back to me. It's just like riding a bicycle.